Dragoon Wars Episode 1
by ObiOtaku16
Summary: Dart and Lavitz try to stop a blockade from surrounding Seles with lots o parody!


Dragoon Wars Episode 1:  
The Phantom Cheese  
  
Ch.1- Somewhere Around Seles.  
  
"Dude, look at all the those trading ships forming some kind of blockade around the palace Master." The younger Dragoon said, pointing at the floating airships as they disembarked from there own sleek airship a few minutes earlier. "Man, these people really need a life." The older Dragoon mumbled. Turning away from the window, he faced two people in front of him. "Captain, tell them we wish to board at once." The pilot nodded, "Yo, see these folks here on my ship? They're gonna sucker ya'll out of Seles 'cause they're Dragoons." He said. "Okie-dokie. Our blockade is perfectly legal." The masked man said. "Whatever." The pilot mumbled.  
  
Lavitz and Dart exchanged blank looks as they got off the ship when it landed in the dock. The two men took off their hoods, revealing super hot blonde guys with blue eyes, with Dart wearing a red headband and Lavitz wearing a cool green jade ornament thingie for holding his cloak together. Dart was more of ladies' man, but didn't seem to have a firm grasp on common sense. Lavitz, on the other hand, was smart, and he had at least some common sense. They walked to a waiting room where a droid bowed to them. "Howdy. Anything I can get for you gents?" It said. "You can get me a super fly chick." Dart said. "." Lavitz rolled his eyes. "I will be back with your drinks, sirs. I hope you are most comfortable here." The droid said, walking away.  
  
The younger Dragoon walked to the window nearby. "I have a bad feeling about this." He finally said. "About our mission?" Lavitz asked. "No.there's an air car flying straight at us! Duck!" Dart and Lavitz dove to the side as a blue Ford Angora suddenly crashed through the window. "Oy! Harry! We've come for you!" A red-haired kid yelled. Two older red-haired guys poked their heads out of the car windows. "Ron, you idiot! This isn't even Harry's bloody house!" The three brothers started arguing as they backed up and flew away. "That was weird!" Dart said. Lavitz got up and nodded his agreement. They dusted off their robes and sat in huge beanbag chairs in the middle of the room with a coffee table right next to them. "Man, why are they taking so long? It doesn't take a tin robot practically an hour just to get my booze." Dart complained loudly. "It's only been five minutes." Lavitz said dully. Finally, the droid came in and gave them their drinks. "When are we going to see your master?" The older blonde Dragoon asked. "Shortly." The droid replied before walking away.  
  
The masked guy with white hair and crimson eyes faced a hologram that showed Emperor Doel on it. "Like, the ambassadors are Dragoons, and like, we can't win against them. What shall we do Your Highness?" He sounded panicky. "Relax.all you have to do is just begin landing your troops." Doel replied calmly. ".Is that legal, my Lord?" He asked. "I will assure you I will make it legal.' Doel said flatly. "And like, the Dragoons?" The masked guy asked. "The Chancellor should have never brought them into this.kill them immediately." Doel muttered. The masked guy let out a sigh of relief as Emperor Doel's hologram winked out. He turned and faced the screen where the Dragoons' s airship was. He didn't hesitate as he pressed the big red button on the airship's interior controls that said 'Kill the Dragoons' on it. Out of the airship came dozens of farm animals flying towards the other ship.  
  
The pilot's eyes widened as ducks, chickens, turkeys, pigs, sheep, and a few cows were catapulted directly at him.. "Run away!" He cried, jumping out of the ship and landing safely outside. He ran inside the airship docking station and he was blown to the side of the airlock as the ship blew up with a huge explosion. A whole bunch of lamb chops, bacon, duck, turkey, and steaks litter the ground and smack the windows with a wet sloppy sound as it slid down the glass. "Man, I paid 300,000 g for that!" He cried, staring mournfully at the heap of metal on the ground afterwards.  
  
Dart and Lavitz, hearing the explosion, jumped out of their beanbag chairs, or at least tried to. "Man, why do these chairs have to be so deep?!" Lavitz complained, trying to get up. "Help me! I'm sinking!" Dart cried, flapping his hands around. Lavitz finally got out and helped his friend. They watched as the red beanbag chair sunk into the floor and disappeared. "Quick beanbags.they're really trying to kill us." Lavitz said, shaking his head in pity. "Um." Dart started. "Yeah?" The Jade Dragoon asked. "I think we're supposed to hold our breath." Dart said, pointing up at the ceiling, where gas started to come out of. ".It better not be what I think it is." Lavitz rolled his eyes.  
  
The masked guy smirked as the blue gas covered everything, and was satisfied that they were dead. "Like, go in and blast what's left of them." He said to the droids on the intercom. He turned off the screen and removed his mask, revealing longish white hair and crimson eyes. Why, it's Lloyd. 'Those pansy Dragoons are probably like, dead by now.' He smirked.  
  
The droids opened the doors, guns ready. The droid who was handing out drinks earlier came out. "Oh dear, is it some kind of ambush?" It said before walking away. "Check to see if it's all clear." One of the robots said. "Roger roger." Another answered. "Uh oh." Another droid said as they saw two beams of light, one green, and one red come out of the fog. The droids collapsed as they were cut in half. The alarms started sounding off.  
  
"Like, what in blazes is going on down there!?" Lloyd said, turning on the screen again. "Have you ever encountered a Dragoon, sir?" One of his officers asked. "Well like, yeah.of course.and they're like, so totally strong." Lloyd let out a disgusted sigh like a valley girl, putting a hand on his hip. ".Do you want me to close the blast doors?" The officer asked dully, trying hard not to roll his eyes. "Okay. Like, sure.whatever."  
  
Lavitz's spear saber slashed through a pair of battle droids and parried shots, bouncing it back as sparks flew from it. He charged at one, slashing it and stabbing it through its metal body, impaling about three that was behind it. "Harpoon!" He sensed Dart using his attacks too, enjoying his time to destroy the robots. The Jade Dragoon heard numerous blast doors closing to the left of him, and shook his head in pity. "Oh come on! Its not you can keep me out!" Lavitz yelled at the doors. He stabbed his spear saber through the door, the metal melting almost rapidly. "You gotta come out soommeettiimmee!!" He sang almost demonic-like. 


End file.
